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Wednesday, May 27, 2020
16.1 C

    Have dating apps killed romance?

    It is said that 10 hours a week are spent on online dating apps like Tinder or Match by millennials. This time could be spent much better by going out and actually meeting people.

    Disclaimer: The Bulletin encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of the writers published in The Bulletin are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of The Bulletin.
    “Millennials have lost the art of conversation because everyone is on their phone… What that will lead to, which is serious – is a lot of loneliness.” – Dr Ruth, Sex Therapist.
    Recently a lot of documentaries and studies have been released regarding social media and dating apps. It is scary to see these numbers and the behaviour of people who use dating apps.
    Most people on dating apps such as Tinder, Hinge or Bumble said it is easier to move on from one person to another as there are so many options available to them. They also said that they do not realise how their actions may hurt someone because it was just two or three dates.
    Even though we would like to believe we live in a modern world, our upbringing can still be very old school. As a little girl, you are told and made to believe that a man should chase you, you have to get married, have kids and be a housewife. You cannot work too; a man must look after you!
    But with gender-based violence being prevalent in our daily lives and the high cost of living it is difficult to not work and contribute in the household. Many women who have been abused will tell you that the most difficult thing is to walk away if you have nothing to support yourself with.
    Looking for love can be addictive, especially with our society still thinking that a woman cannot survive without a man, it is no wonder so many people decide to be single because divorce is expensive!
    The world of dating online has opened up a wide new world but also made it more difficult to find quality, instead quantity seems to be the in thing. Smartphones contribute to this problem. One can walk into a room full of people but everyone is extremely busy on their phones: taking the perfect selfie for their dating app profile pic, to Instagram their coffee or just scrolling through Facebook.
    Online dating apps are also known for an easy hook-up. If you are close-by to the person you have just matched with it is easy to meet up, hook-up and go your separate ways without talking to the other person again. It is also a $ 2.7 billion-a-year industry…
    To meet people in the old school ways at a party or through friends are so difficult. Everyone is too busy to actually make a personal connection at these gatherings because again… everyone is too busy looking down at their phones.
    These dating apps have also become an easy way to cheat. It is so easy to create a secret folder on your smartphone that if you are careful no one will know.
    It is said that 10 hours a week are spent on online dating apps like Tinder or Match by millennials. This time could be spent much better by going out and actually meeting people. It has also been said that people like or swipe left on people who are 25% more desirable than they are. This comes down to the conclusion that online dating app users think that they have more options than they actually have.
    Tinder was launched in 2012 and started the swipe movement. It is the most widely used app people use to look for love, a meetup or a hook-up, which means there are a lot of fish in the online sea. Whether you are looking for something real, someone well-mannered that you can take home to meet your mother or just an easy hook-up this app is definitely for you but do not be upset when you get ghosted because it is really rare to find “The One.”
    Most of the apps used work on the same principles: fake photos with filters, a quick hook-up or just meeting up for a coffee only to realise that the person in the profile picture is not the person sitting in front of you.
    Negative experiences experienced by using these apps only lead to self-esteem issues; am I pretty enough or am I not thin enough? They also lead to a lack of social skills. When you are behind your phone screen hiding you can easily say and comment what you want to. Real life unfortunately does not work that way. This all leads to a superficial connection rather than a meaningful connection.
    The overwhelming choice one has on these apps also contributes to the factor that many people question whether or not the next swipe will bring someone better along.
    In the old days, people would meet in something called a social ecology. This would be at church, sport clubs or through friends. Nowadays, using dating apps, people meet under the guise of deceit and anonymity. This also includes the deceit of intentions, personal characteristics and money.
    Romance and chivalry have also been killed by these apps. It is common sense that when you feel something for someone everything about that person becomes special. Romance cannot be measured by numbers. Romance is how that someone special treats you. Whether it is picking a flower and giving it to that special girl or waking up to a special message.
    With online dating, most of this is a farce because our priorities have shifted. We want to be independent, live alone and reach all our goals before starting something with that someone special. You might have met that person already but your career is too important and dating casually is easier as there is no commitment involved and no expectations either.
    The conclusion comes down to a few things: online dating has turned us into ruder and more self-involved people. It also changed our morals and values. Dating apps also give you the idea that there is someone better that deserves your attention more than the one you are currently with. It also appears that people are not scared anymore as they were previously. The internet has given people who are scared to go out in the world, are introverts or suffer from social anxiety a freedom like never before. It gives them a sense of false acceptance and make them feel like they fit in. The anonymity gives them a false sense of confidence that they would not have had before.
    If you are in the dating pool, you will fall in love and get crushed but since the beginning of mankind love has always prevailed… – Ané Prinsloo


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    Have dating apps killed romance?